Sunday, November 9, 2008


It seems as if my husband and my relationship has been based solely on our ability to communicate with eachother over long distances. First we met online. He was located in Groton, Conneticut and I was in Provo, Utah.

When the time came to actually meet in person (no matter how skeptical I was) he promptly moved to Washington! Anyone who can think that a move to Washington is a good step for the relationship is seriously disturbed. Now we weren't a 10 hour flight from eachother, we were a 14 hour drive, or as the case generally was, a $400, 2 hour flight.

The majority of our engagement was spent in silence. Well, on his part anyway. For he left not a month after we got engaged to go do unspeakable things in his submarine. I was left to worry. Communication changed from hours of phone calls to 10 small notes of 30 words or less over a five and a half month period. That was what -he- got anyway. I got a 10 word note passed along by someone who will remain unnamed. I suppose for someone who thrives on verbal communication it is strange to be forced to condense messages into what is most important.

We got married only a month and a half after he returned and our marriage has gone without a hitch. Though in spite of the fact that I now live in Washington, it seems that our conversations continue to take place where we met. Online. He leaves underway and I stalk my e-mail. As much as I might complain, the distance of our relationship truly makes me appreciate those moments that I have with him. The precious amounts of verbal communication are used mostly on what is the most important of all: that we love each other.

A few months ago during a stake conference for church the speaker emphasized the importance of telling the ones that mean most to you that you love them. He related stories of couples who hadn't heard those words for 30 years or more! They challenged us to really work hard to remember to never forget to tell your spouse that you love them. I couldn't help but laugh as James and I got into our car and started discussing the topic and we both got into a match to see if we could count just the number of times that we said I love you before we got to church. I can't remember what we concluded, but it was over 10.

I guess the point of this blog is just to emphasize that it doesn't matter how you talk or communicate with those you love, just make sure that you treasure every moment you have with them. As someone who has to share the love of my life with the rest of the world, I can't stress enough the importance of communication and the little moments, the smiles, the tears and the company of your best friend.

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